Saturday, April 11, 2009
My drift doc rough cut 1
Advanced Doc ROUGH cut 1 from chixwithtrix on Vimeo.
rough cut 1
needs a lot of editing and smoothing out. Will be taking away talking head and putting in more other footage, just ran out of time and threw in some b-roll.
I know some shots are repeated, the characters have no identification bars, etc. Like I said, its rough. Looking for where the story is weak/strong or good/bad visuals, etc.
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As usual, Ashley, you have a great intro to the piece. The V.O. is perfect alongside the rack focus of the burnt rubber, and then, BAM! the music cranks and we jump right into the drifting footage which always gets me pumped up. I thought your interview subject was very knowledgeable and had a great radio-like voice (just need a few cleanups when he stutters). In terms of his interview, I thought the history of drifting was very interesting, but I agree with what Sarah said about archival footage, and think if you could find something it would make that section 10x stronger. There is a little part about the guy Aaron, and you have a great shot of him, but I was wondering if there was anymore information on him or possibly an interview. His story is just pretty brief. A part you could possibly slim down is where your subject is talking about how a 1st timer could possibly come out and place 4th and go to a big meet. That seems pretty doubtful and makes drifting seem easier than it is. I drive a lot of cars at my job, but I know if I went out there I'd end up just spinning D's and looking like a big doof. Also, in terms of B-roll, it would be cool if you had some shots of your subject drifting to get a feel of what he does. Hope this helps a little, Ashley. So far so good!
ReplyDeleteGreat comments, Alex. I agree that the opening is extremely effective. Great sense of pacing and musicality to the editing. Most visceral material you've shown to date. I think you could go even further in capturing the FEELING and JOY of drifting, and pushing your style even further. You know the feeling of drifting better than we do. Agree that you have some great opportunities for archival footage. I assume you've searched archive.org. If not maybe there are some Japanese videos out there. Very interesting to know about the Japanese origins of drifting, very unexpected, unlikely and compelling cultural juxtaposition. You could do something with that visually that could be phenomenal. You should watch HANDS ON A HARD BODY if you have not yet. Check it out from Vulcan and I will count is as make-up for missed screening. You might try re-scanning some of your footage for some new styles. ie. re-shooting off a monitor. Let us know what it is like inside the inner world of the driver who is drifting. Have fun with it. I think you can have less talking and more visceral experience of drifting. Be critical about what the best VO is and eliminate redundancy and that which is already evident from the footage (like that it is FUN). Great editing and cinematography. ES
ReplyDeleteThis doc is looking good, and I'm very excited to see the end result. I agree that if possible we should try to get an interview with aaron...even if its a phone interview. And I think the archival footage is a great idea. It will eliminate some of the talking head, and give this doc. a historical perspective as well. I will try to look online for anyone who has such footage..mabey some guys on the forums??? The shots looked great...and the only one I missed seeing was the on-car camera crash with the crazy light streak.
ReplyDeleteTaking into account that this is a rough cut and I heard in class that it was really just finding a structure, I feel this is a really great start and good footage. I think whats interesting is first knowing what drifting is and then how it works and how you yourself can get into it. I think the most valuable footage would be in the car or watching them drift. The interview would go great with the drifting footage. I also agree that since you can't find any archival footage for the origination of drifting, that it doesn't have to be included in the documentary. Good luck with editing, it looks great!
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